Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Is It Real?

I mentioned in my post the other day that the number on the scale had finally dropped. I was really happy on Saturday with the new number. As for going back to weighing weekly, well that hasn't been going so well lol. I've sort of managed to do it every other day, which I suppose is an improvement. I guess I just need to keep working on it.
Anyway, yesterday morning I got weighed and was in shock, still am really lol. I saw a number I've been desparate to see for SO long. In the UK we work in stones and lbs and I've been wanting to be 10 stone something for like forever lol. Yesterday morning I saw that number, 10st 13lbs/153lbs. I re-weighed three times just to make sure, then put the scale away in a daze. The pessimist in me immediately said that it was just a blip and that I'd bounce back up again today...
Well today came and although I didn't plan to weigh, I just couldn't help myself. 10st 12.5lbs/152.5lbs....
I really can't believe it, it just feels surreal. My official weigh in day isn't til Friday and I'm still determined in my head that I'm going to bounce back up by then so I can't seem to allow myself to be ecstatic about it, it's like I've been given THE best gift ever, but told I can only have it for a day lol. I know I shouldn't weigh tomorrow, but I also know that I'm going to, and then again on Friday, before I finally believe what I'm seeing. If this really is right, I've now lost over 121lbs and am less than 8lbs away from my original goal of 145lbs to get me just into the healthy BMI range!

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Great Scale & Exercise Day

I finally saw a new low on the scale this morning, 11st 2lbs or 156lbs!!! It was SO good to see a new lower number as I've felt so frustrated this last couple of weeks with the bouncing. And unfortunately I have to be honest and say that this immediately set my mood for the day, I was HAPPY!
I had been thinking of maybe not going to the gym or step class or running this morning, but once I saw that number it motivated me and I decided step class it would be, 1hr instead of the usual 45mins midweek ones. And I then had the best step class I've had in weeks! I finally got one of the moves I've been missing for about 4 weeks, and could do the whole routine up to the last little bit, which I think I might be able to get next week now that I've got the rest straight lol.
I've been giving a lot more thought to my daily weighing while those numbers have been bouncing about, but I still don't really know what I'm going to do. I admit that the number on the scale determines my mood starting each day, which as long as it's coming down is great, but when it's bouncing for no particular reason stinks, and I really need to get over that. When I started this journey I weighed weekly, on a Friday, and that seemed to work well, but I heard that people found it much better with daily weighing as they got used to the usual daily fluctuations and so became less obsessed with the numbers. Like I said, while the number is going down then daily weighing is working great for me, but if I'm retaining water or whatever and the number is up I find it hard to deal with. Friday used to be my treat day, but then it ended up turning into a treat weekend if we had things planned on a Saturday or Sunday. Recently I've changed things so that I decide when I'll have my treat dependant on our plans, so tomorrow I'll have my treat this week. So I'm thinking should I go back to weekly weighing? But then I think can I actually do it after daily weighing for quite a while now. The other thing is, if I don't like the number I see once a week am I going to be in a bad mood the whole week til next weigh in, or am I going to end up back on those scales each day to make sure the number is going down? My PT has said that I need to focus less on the scale now and more on my body shape and what I want it to be like, and that makes sense, but I still want to finish what I started 14 months ago, I want to get to a healthy BMI.... I've even thought about trying to weigh monthly as surely in a month the number has to go down, but then I'm thinking I could get lax with the treats etc because I know I'm not due to weigh for a while, and think I'll make it up later, which I don't want to do. So I think from writing this post I've come to the conclusion that I need to go back and try weekly weighing again and see how that goes for a while at least. Hopefully it will stop the daily mood swings and allow me to just focus on what I need to do. Watch this space I guess...

Thursday, 23 September 2010

I Can Run Like The Wind!

Lol, well, maybe not, but it felt like it for a few seconds!
I had my second session with the PT at lunchtime and OH MY GOSH! He joked the other day when I saw him that last week was just a warm-up. Today he seriously kicked my butt, he worked out a new programme for me in which I barely had time to rest before moving onto the next exercise. When it came to the treadmill he asked me about my running and I said that I can run for up to 50mins or so now, but slowly at 8kph with a 0.5% incline. Shorter runs I can do faster, 5k at up to 8.5kph and I've done 2.4k at 9kph with a 1.0% incline a few times. I told him the fastest I'd gone was 10kph for a minute or so one day. I can't remember today's drill exactly because I had my mind on not falling flat on my face off the back of the treadmill, but he had me doing 5 x 1min interval runs with a 1min walk in between all at a 2% incline, the first run being at 9.5kph, 10kph for the next, 10.5kph for the third and then 11kph for the last two, and I did it!!! I really couldn't believe I'd done it, I felt like I used to when I first started running and was increasing the time I could run for, like I was so strong and invincible and shocked at just what I could achieve.
So even though the scale is being really stubborn right now, I'm happy to have had a much needed NSV today which proves how my fitness is improving and shows me what I can do if I push myself a bit harder. Let's just hope the scale realises I mean business quickly and follows suit with those last 12lbs.

Monday, 20 September 2010

Highs and Lows

Friday had been such a good day with my PT session even though I was exhausted by nighttime.
Saturday I had planned on maybe going to an early morning step class at the gym, but when I woke up I felt really sore in my arms, shoulders, chest and front thighs. The worst bit was that when I breathed in deeply my chest hurt and I wondered at first if I was getting sick, but then realised the boxing which I've never done before had probably worked chest muscles I haven't used lol. So I decided that as we were going out for the day later as a family and would be walking a fair bit I would give step a miss. We had a great day out although my eating ended up being totally off plan. We went to a fair which we went to 5yrs ago and DH remembered a pic he had taken of DD and I back then, so he decided he wanted to recreate it. I vaguely remembered the pic but it wasn't til we got home and I started going through folders of old photos that I realised how far I've come in this last 14 months. Want a look?

I really couldn't believe there was so much difference and still don't feel inside my head and body like I am so much different, even if the pictures and mirror say so.
Yesterday although I got back on plan I didn't end up working out as I felt really down and tearful all day. I didn't weigh in but had lots of potty breaks during the day and then overnight, so I really expected the scale to show approx the same number it did on Saturday. No such luck, I'm 2lbs up this morning, so 2.5lbs from the lowest I've seen which was Wed or Thur I think. I really can't believe it, I could have thrown the scales out of the bathroom window and then had a good cry. I really don't understand why the number is going up instead of down. I know Saturday wasn't good, but I was perfect yesterday.... Even as I type this I'm struggling not to break down and cry. It's days like this (that I haven't had in a while) where I see the number going up instead of down and I begin to panic that my good luck in losing all this weight has run out and it's all going to start going back on again and there's nothing I can do about it. Realistically I know it isn't good luck and that it's taken hard work to get where I am, but the scared girl inside is terrified that it's all going wrong. I CAN'T go back to where I was, my life was a total mess and I hated myself and was close to a breakdown. This past few months I'm finally learning to love myself, faults and all, and working out how I tick, and I need this to carry on. I need to finish what I started 14 months ago and then continue my journey to maintenance. I'm SO close, yet today it feels like I'll never get there...
Today I just want to go to bed, cry myself to sleep and wake up when this is over. Instead I'm going to go run some errands soon, then go to the gym for my Bodytone and Step classes. I know that I'll probably feel like crying the whole time, but what's the alternative, give in and know that I didn't even fight to keep the girl in that second photo. She's too good not to fight for....

P.S. Just got back from my classes. NOT good, Bodytone was fine but Step was a disaster. Couldn't get the steps right and ended up in tears in the middle of the class. I think only one person noticed, a friend who was concerned, but I couldn't get out of there quick enough today. I really don't know what's wrong with me, I'm so down this past couple of days, and it's not pms. I just feel that everything is out of control.

Friday, 17 September 2010

First PT Session

I had my first session with my personal trainer today and it went much better than I thought, although it was HARD.
He asked me various questions about what I've been doing so far and where I want to go from here, what areas I want to focus on etc, then did my weight and measurements. Then we went outside into the football stadium next to the gym and the hard work started lol.
He had me doing boxing, squats, step ups, arm dips, running up and down the stairs in the stadium, then exercises with kettlebells, with barely enough time to get my breath back between each. Then we went back inside to do final stretches and wow, they hurt!
If nothing else, from this one session I've learnt that I lean my weight too far forward when doing lots of exercises, including squats and running upstairs, don't dip low enough when doing arm dips, and I don't stretch deep enough afterwards which might explain some of the soreness I get. I struggled with one of the kettlebell exercises and was using my arms too much when I should have been using my abs, hips, butt and thighs mostly, so that's something we're going to have to work on, but he said I'd done really well for a first session. I felt fine until I got into the changing rooms, then suddenly my arms and legs were like jelly lol! But I went for a swim for 20mins and then into the sauna and jacuzzi to relax a little before coming home. I DID feel ok, but as the minutes tick by I can feel that tomorrow my body is NOT going to be happy with me lol, my arms are already starting to ache, as well as my butt and thighs and I'm wiped out. We'll see what tomorrow brings, but if you don't here from me for several days please send a doctor with pain meds and a stretcher lol....

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Challenge Update

I was so proud of myself for my run on Friday, but my knees were really sore on Saturday morning. I had been planning on running again in the morning, but I knew when I got up that if I did I'd end up feeling worse and hating the run, so Saturday ended up being a rest day. Sunday DH wanted us to go for a family hike in the morning which ruled out another run, but we ended up being out for over 2hrs and it ended up being a serious walk, so was happy with that.
Monday was Bodytone and then Advanced Step class for me and although these classes kick my butt I love them, it feels like a great way to start the week. Well I must have worked harder than I realised at the time because, come yesterday morning, my butt, inner and back thighs were SO sore! I went to the gym but even once I got on the cross trainer I still felt tired and achy. I did 10mins on the cross trainer then had decided to try to increase my distance running on the treadmill. My longest run up to now has been 6.5k so I decided to go for 7k. I usually listen to upbeat and dance music on my ipod while running, but yesterday I decided to try listening to a running podcast for a change. That was a mistake... About 2k in I got a stitch which got worse and worse until at about 3.5k I had to stop to walk for a few minutes til it subsided. I started running again and really had to push myself to keep going. The stitch returned but not as bad so I just kept pushing on. When the podcast finished about 5mins from the end of my run I changed back to my music and those last 5mins or so were the best part of the run, I got my bounce back and suddenly felt like I could have run longer! So although part of it was walking, yesterday I did my longest distance so far, 7k! I'm still really scared of trying to increase my distance too quickly in case I make my calf/shin worse. I don't have the pain I was having, but it's still tight on a morning some days when I first get up and I have a little discomfort sometimes. I keep thinking of my physio's advice to take it really slowly and so I guess that's what I'm going to do. Rather than increasing by .5k a week which I originally did, right now I'm planning on increasing by .5k a month, and if that gets me to where I want to be without anymore injuries then that's all I want. It may be another 6 months before I am up to 10k, but I'll get there, and then I'll think about signing up for my first 10k race!
Today I went to Step class at lunchtime and did a 10min treadmill walk beforehand just to warm up a little as I'm still sore then had a great class. I saw my personal trainer in the corridor and he asked me if I was looking forward to our first session on Friday lol. Looking forward to it isn't really the phrase that comes to mind, more like "cr***ing my pants"!
So 15 days in and I've exercised 13 of those days. Yeah, it should have been 15, but before the challenge it would have been 11 at the most so I'm happy with how it's going so far. I'm adding in more activity during the day in general and have taken a giant leap into toning up more by doing some 30DS and hiring my personal trainer.
I'm down another 3lbs in the last 2 weeks which leaves me with 12lbs to go to my original goal weight! The last couple of days have found me pondering what the rest of the year holds for me, and I've decided to really try to get those last 12lbs off by the time I finish my 10 personal training sessions, so in about 10 weeks. To be able to get to goal, complete those sessions and hopefully tone up some more along the way would be the best Christmas present I could ever ask for....

Friday, 10 September 2010


We are away for our 12th wedding anniversary, hubby is being hubby and having an afternoon nap before we go out for a meal tonight. So what have I been doing? I've been for a run around Ogden Water! Six months ago I ran/walked twice round, doing about 1 min running to 3 walking and thought I was going to die lol. Today I ran non-stop and did 6k which was just over three loops. I think I'd call that a victory in improving my running wouldn't you?!!! Xxx

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Back In The Land Of The Living

I'm really happy to say that I feel SO much better today. Had a good night's sleep and most of aches and pains seem to have gone. So I took myself off to the gym this morning and ended up having a great workout:-
10mins Stationary Bike
40mins Treadmill Run 8kph/1.0 gradient
10mins Cross Trainer
As I've mentioned on here before, I've been thinking of hiring the personal trainer at the gym for some sessions in the hope that he can help me tone up some of what is left, and maybe help me get the last few pounds off, but have been putting it off because of cost and being a scaredy cat lol. Well, when I went to the gym today I was talking to one of the girls and she said that he usually does a special offer in September. Then when I went to check in for my workout, sure enough, there was a message waiting for me from the personal trainer asking if I'd thought about sessions and that if I was interested throughout September if you book a series of 10 sessions instead of being £250 they are £180, so about a 25% saving! The scaredy cat in me thought about just deleting the message and pretending I'd never seen it, but the new strong, brave Lisa went straight in that gym, over to him and told him I wanted to book some sessions! So I have my first session with him next Friday and I'm already quaking in my running shoes lol! We had a chat and discussed what I'm wanting from him and he's going to work out a program for me, and thinks that he will definitely be able to help me tone up some of the problem areas more which is what I really need. Really can't believe I've done this, from morbidly obese, 274lbs, UK28, binge eating couch potato to overweight, 158.5lbs, UK12, healthy eating gym bunny who has just hired her own personal trainer in under 14 months, GO ME!!!

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Today Will Be A Fail

I don't know if it's been the run up to my period and that I ended up being 5 days late, or if I'm actually coming down with the flu or something, but today I feel terrible. DH took DD to school and I slept til 10am, then dragged myself downstairs for some breakfast and just sat watching tv til I HAD to get ready to go collect her again in the afternoon.
I ache allover, have headache, feel sick and dizzy, and I'm SO hot, but I'm really hoping now that my period has started I'll start to feel better tomorrow. So today even though I'm upset with myself for doing it, I've decided to have a rest day in the hope that it will help. I kept hoping I'd feel better enough as the day went on to do 30DS but I just don't feel up to it. So Day 8 is going to be a fail, and in my perfectionists head that means the whole challenge will be a fail... But I'm trying to remind myself that I've exercised everyday in the last 9 days, and usually I'd only manage probably 5 out of 7 days, so I'm still doing better than I was. I think if I just focus on making sure overall I'm doing more than I would have then it's a success.
Hopefully I'll have a workout to post tomorrow...

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

I'll Survive

I managed to stay awake til 10pm last night and only had to get up once, but was still exhausted this morning.
I really didn't want to go to the gym. But I considered my other options which were go for a run (weather too bad), do 30DS (couldn't cope with more strength work today) or veg on the sofa all day (crazy woman Syl would kill me lol and I'd hate myself later), so I promised myself I'd go to the gym after taking DD to school and just do something, no matter how easy I worked out.
Anyway, I ended up doing:-
10mins Cross Trainer
5k (approx 35-40mins) Treadmill Run 8-9kph
5mins Rowing Machine
Although it felt hard today I don't think I feel quite as tired now, it seems to have given me a little bit of a lift, I just hope I don't crash again later lol.

Monday, 6 September 2010

I'm So Tired!

After yesterday's long day out and walk I was fit to collapse last night. Both DH and I gave in at about 9pm and decided to go to bed lol. However as is always the case just before my period arrives, I had an awful night's sleep, was too hot then too cold, needed the toilet etc, and all too soon the alarm was going off.
After I'd taken DD to school I came home and did a few chores, but I just wanted to go back to bed. Monday is Bodytone class then straight into Step class at the gym and I REALLY didn't want to go, but I did and although I'm still so tired, I had a really good workout and am glad I forced myself to go.
Tonight I intend to veg out on the sofa again and have another early night, in the hope I feel a little more refreshed tomorrow. I'm just hoping I'm not reaching burnout already after only a week.

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Challenge Day 5

Quick post today, just got back from a family day out which included a LONG walk, well over my 20mins challenge requirement, and I'm exhausted! lol I used Bob but kept forgetting to start and stop him so not sure how accurate the distances were, but he said that we covered almost 9km and were walking for almost 2hrs in total which involved lots of going up and down steep inclines. I've taken loads of photos and the plan is to upload a couple over the next few days so you can see where we went and how high we ended up, but right now I just need to veg out on the sofa for a bit lol.

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Challenge Day 4

Saturday is usually a day where I either go to the gym or step class first thing if DD has stayed at my mum's overnight, or if she's home it ends up being a rest day like Sunday always is.
Today DD is home, but I've just finished showering and doing my hair AFTER having done my 4th day of Jillian this week, and meaning I've completed Syl's challenge Day 4! DH is at work this morning so I told DD it was time to play in her bedroom for half an hour so mummy could workout and luckily she's at the age now where that's not too much of a chore for her. I'm so proud of myself for doing this today as I knew that weekends were going to be my big challenge to overcome, as they always are with my eating. Not sure what will be on the cards for tomorrow, DH and DD are both home so it may end up with me dragging us out for a walk or getting on the Wii Fit, but I'm determined to get my 20mins in somehow.

Friday, 3 September 2010

Challenge Day 3

I should have been going swimming at lunchtime today, but it was DD's first day back at school and once I'd dropped her off and got home I wanted to get some chores done in the house. Once I got going with those I really didn't want to go for a swim... The thing is my Friday swim means length swimming for almost an hour, then I usually go in the sauna and jacuzzi for half an hour, and then need to shower and do my hair etc. This means me being away from home for 2-3hrs. Today I really just didn't feel like being out for that long, especially as I consider swimming my easy workout for the week. I figured that if I did the 30DS instead I'd be done and showered etc in less than an hour, giving me more time to get chores done. So that's what I did! Day 3 of doing it and it still doesn't feel any easier lol, someone please tell me it will soon?
One thing I have been doing this week as well as my structured workouts is trying to move about more generally, ie taking an item upstairs or out to the car etc straight away, rather than putting them on a pile to deal with when I was going upstairs or out to the car anyway, and I feel good about this. It got me to thinking and although I don't know if it will make that much difference, I worked out if I could burn an extra 50cals a day this way thats 350 a week and 3500 in 10 weeks, meaning another 1lb I could lose! So I'm definitely going to keep trying and hope that every calorie counts!

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Challenge Day 2

Happy to say that I was right yesterday about the hunger and potty breaks, and another 1.5lbs of the gain was gone this morning, so only 1.5lbs to go and then I can starting working on getting into new territory, yay, I'm really excited about seeing a new low soon!
Right now I am just SO glad I joined Syl's challenge because this week I'm really struggling to motivate myself on a morning to get on with my workout. I'm lucky that DH had agreed for me to go to the gym today while he watched DD, and I had planned to go as soon as I woke up, but instead I turned over and dozed for another hour or so lol. I ended up having breakfast with them before I grumpily put my running shoes on and headed for the gym. I REALLY didn't want to go. I don't know if I've burnt out with the gym itself, if I'm bored, or if I'm just going through a bad patch with it. I love my classes still but just don't look forward to my gym workouts lately for some reason. When I got there today one of the girls I know who has sessions with the personal trainer had just finished and she looked EXHAUSTED! She said that he'd had her running up and down the steps of the football stadium which the gym is part of, and she felt sick she was so tired! I've been thinking of booking some sessions with him now that I'm getting nearer to goal, in the hope of toning up some of my flabby bits a bit more, but to be honest, I'M SCARED! I really wonder if I'm fit enough for him lol. This girl said that she's seen me running on the treadmill and thinks I'm much fitter than her as she can't run for more than about 5mins at a time. I said I can run for a long time, but only slowly and she said that the personal trainer has set her a target of running a mile in 10mins! I can run about 4 miles non-stop, but they are about 12-13min miles lol. So my mind started whirring (always a dangerous thing) and after my warmup and some incline work I decided to give it a go. I've done 2.4k (1.5m) at 9kph and have ran up to 10kph for very short intervals, but this time I set the speed at 9.5kph and off I went. I realised when I got about halfway through that I still wasn't going to be near a 10min mile, so upped it to 9.6, then 9.7 etc, and ended up doing about the last minute at 10kph, and my final time for a mile was 10mins 12secs.... I didn't meet the goal I'd set myself, but it's something I've never tried before and I did run for much longer at a faster speed than I've ever done which I am so proud of myself for. And even though I was slightly disappointed I didn't manage it, I really didn't think I'd be able to get that close to it so overall I'm very happy with the effort I put in. And mixing my workout up and setting myself a challenge actually meant that although I was exhausted afterwards I really enjoyed myself and felt to have really had a good workout. So you know what I'll be doing in a week's time? Having another go and starting off at 9.6kph this time lol. Watch this space!

Today's workout details:-
10mins Cross Trainer Profile 6 Level 5
21mins Treadmill Incline Walk
10mins Treadmill Run 9.5-10kph
10mins Cardio Wave
10mins Abs and Arm Strength Exercises

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Day 1 Of A New Challenge

As I mentioned in my post the other day, I signed up for a challenge on one of the blogs I love to read, Syl's Live, Smile, Run.
There were two challenges to decide between, the first being to endure (enjoy doing lol) Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred every day for 30 days, the second being to exercise for at least 20mins a day for 30 days. I was tempted to sign up for the 30DS challenge, but as my usual exercise routine involves me going to the gym 4/5 times a week for cardio, classes and swimming, I knew if I was honest with myself that trying to do the 30DS on top of that would be pushing it too far. So I signed up for the minimum 20mins a day exercise for 30 days challenge, which although I know is still going to be hard, I feel is achievable. I'm planning on incorporating the 30DS into that, doing it at least once a week, and hopefully that should help with toning.
And it's a good job I did sign up for the challenge because I'm really sore today from doing the 30DS yesterday as well as my short run, and if I hadn't signed up I know I'd have used it as an excuse to take a rest day lol. BUT, I have signed up for this and am going to give it my all. I'm promised myself even if I'm dying I can manage a 20min walk each day, so I have NO excuse. So on went the dvd and I sweated my way through it again and felt so proud of myself afterwards.
I've decided to post on here each day what exercise I do, mainly as a record for me but also to keep me accountable. Some days it may just be a VERY short post with details of my exercise alone, just hope you don't get bored of reading about it.
I am SO hungry today though!!! The scale showed the same number this morning which I was a little disappointed with, but I suppose after a 4.5lbs drop yesterday I shouldn't be. I feel like I could eat non-stop today, and seem to be taking potty breaks regularly again, so I'm hoping I might see a drop again soon. My goal for September is to get the 3lb holiday gain off, plus another 4lbs, and I'm really going to try hard to achieve it.