Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Injured Then Not?

I'm happy to say that since the weekend I've been totally back on plan and this morning was ecstatic to even see a new low on the scales. I'm determined to keep it going again now, no more 36hr binges for me!
Since I started running in January I've had several little niggly injuries in my legs, one in my right hamstring I think which still niggles now and again, but the one that occured the beginning of last week seemed here to stay. For a few weeks my left calf has felt tight when I've first got up on a morning, and when I've started running on the treadmill at the gym my calf and shin have ached for the first 10mins or so, but then have been fine. Last Tuesday though after my workout, when I got home my calf, shin and ankle really started to hurt. I wasn't sure what the route of the problem was but I iced my lower leg and took a rest day on the Wednesday. It did ease a fair bit so I did my usual Thursday workout, after which it hurt again, so I rested it again on Friday and Saturday. Sunday I went to the gym and it was just the same, and Monday step class was uncomfortable. Then later on Monday I went to reach up to one of the high shelves in the kitchen and when I raised onto my tiptoes and put more weight on my left leg it suddenly hurt much more. It was at this point I knew I needed to finally do something about it, so yesterday whilst at the gym I went to see the sports physio and had a quick chat with him. He said it could be merely a calf strain, neurological or to do with my achilles, so booked me in for an initial consultation tomorrow at 11am. He said that I can still do my first 5k race on Saturday as it doesn't seem to be severe at this stage, but that I should try to focus on the bike and eliptical to rest it a bit til I see him.
Well, would you believe it, I got up this morning, started to walk towards the bathroom and.... no tightness... no pain... nothing! I pointed and flexed my foot and did a few experimental moves to see if that caused it to hurt, nope. Walked my daughter to school, still nothing. I figured I'd go to my step class at lunchtime and that would make it raise it's ugly head again for sure, but here I am and still no pain! And now I don't know what to do, I considered going to see if the physio was there to cancel my appointment for tomorrow, but then figured I have another workout in the morning before my appointment so need to see how that goes. If the pain comes back then he can look into it, if not I will go and just talk to him about my niggles and see if he can offer any advice and give me some stretches and strengthening exercises to hopefully reduce the chance of me getting anymore. I'm just relieved that I'm not in pain today, so I'll take it. If I have to pay for a physio session and only get advice from it, if that's all I need, then fine.
And did I say, my first 5k Race is only 3 days away and I'm absolutely terrified!!! I know I can run the distance, have got up to 6k non-stop now and 8k with walk breaks, so that's not a problem, but I'm worried that the weather is going to be hot which I'm not used to running in yet and that I won't be able to get a steady pace going because of the other runners. My main problem is that I've got it into my head that I want to run the whole thing, and in under 40mins. I'm getting faster, but right now I'm still a slow runner, so I'd be ecstatic with under 40mins. But what if it's too hot and the heat affects me badly, what if I have to take walk breaks, what if I can't keep a steady pace because of the other runners and don't make the 40mins? See, loads of what ifs which just mean I'm terrified of not achieving my goals. I know it's not the end of the world if I walk or don't make the time, but in my head it is, I want to do the best that I can and prove to myself and my family just how far I've come in the last 11 months, and I want the whole experience to be totally positive and give me the momentum to keep going to a 10k next. I know realistically there is nothing more I can do now to prepare myself, other than pray to the weather gods that it's cloudy and cool on Saturday, and that I'm lucky with the crowds and can get a steady pace going. All I know is I'm going to be SO glad when it's over lol

Monday, 28 June 2010

What's Wrong With Me?

I seem to have hit a wall...
For the last few weeks my Friday night treat night has turned into a full on eating fest that has carried on into Saturday, and by bedtime on a Saturday I've felt totally fat and bloated, and sick to my stomach. Last week I swore that I wouldn't let it happen again this week... I enjoyed my treats on Friday night and on Saturday morning I was determined it was going to be an on plan day. Well, that lasted til lunchtime and I blew it again, and carried on pigging out til bedtime...
I did get back on plan yesterday morning and went for a good workout at the gym, and I feel back in control again, but these 36hr binges have got to stop....
I managed to still lose 1lb last week which I was very lucky to do, but I can't keep doing it and get away with it, I know that. I've still got 27lbs to lose to get to goal from last Friday's weight, so I can't start acting like the weekends are a free for all. Even if I was on maintenance I still shouldn't be stuffing my face like I am. Relaxing a little at weekends is one thing, but all out binges are not the way to go. On Saturday I was 2lbs up from Friday, and yesterday I was another 1.5lbs up! I'm back down the 1.5lbs this morning, but that means I need to lose the other 2lbs by Friday just to maintain this week.
I started off typing that I wished I knew why I was doing it, but as I thought about it some more I had a very scary revelation. I know why I'm doing it.... Only 11 months ago binging was my way of burying the pain I was feeling in every aspect of my life. Whilst I was eating I could forget the pain and just enjoy the tastes of the food. These binges also usually involved sitting watching mindless tv programmes so that was another way to distract me from the pain.
For the last 10 months I've been so focused on this journey, and I've felt so much better about my life. Don't get me wrong, things have improved massively, but I've realised just this past couple of weeks that getting to my goal weight is not going to solve all of my problems, and it's actually emphasised a couple of them, major ones at that... Those binges on a Friday night and Saturday are my way of burying the negative emotions I'm feeling again, but for now at least I feel even more negative emotions as a result of the binges, which means I can get back in control pretty quick. Wow, when I finished seeing a therapist at the beginning of the year he told me that I had now become my own therapist, who knew he was actually right?
I don't know whether knowing why I'm binging on a weekend is going to help, but I'm hoping that being mindful at the time may help. My goal is to not have a binge this weekend. We are going out for celebratory lunch on Saturday after I've done my first 5k race, so the plan is not to have Friday night as my treat night this week, enjoy my lunch on Saturday and get straight back on track the next meal, not the next day or the day after.
I just hope I can turn this around...

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Very Relieved

My ankle/shin/calf was feeling a little better again this morning, although still a bit tight and achy, so I decided to go to the gym as usual and just see how much I could manage. I promised myself that if it started hurting when I did my treadmill run I'd stop and do equivalent time on another machine, but when it came to it, although it was a little uncomfortable to start with, once I got going it loosened up and I managed my full 6k steady run. I was so relieved I managed to get through all my workout, and even more relieved that so far it's still not feeling any worse than before the workout which was my main worry. Tomorrow is usually either a swim or outside run day, so I'll see how it feel in the morning before I decide which to go for.
Tomorrow is my official weigh in day and I'm just hoping I see a loss, no matter how small. This week has been a bad week, the worst in a while, as I had two days eating off plan last weekend, and due to going away and then this injury I've only exercised 3 days, whereas I usually do at least 5.
I've got everything crossed that I see a new low on the scale in the morning, and the injury carries on improving. I really need to start feeling like I'm making progress again...

Wednesday, 23 June 2010


Ever since I started running I've had several niggly injuries, but nothing too bad.
Anyway, for a couple of weeks my left calf muscle has been tight when I've got up on a morning, and when I've been running on the treadmill at the gym for the first 10-15mins of each run that and my left shin have ached (they haven't when I've done an outside run strangely). I've been doing stretching exercises and it seemed to improve a little, but after yesterday's workout it was actually hurting. I think it could be my achilles but not sure with me getting an ache in my shin as well.
I iced it when I got home and tried to sort of massage it and it has improved a lot overnight, but is still definitely not right.
I should have been going to my step class at lunchtime and I was going to go as I'm still trying to make up for my bad weekend away, but when it came down to it I knew that if I did I'd just make it worse. My first 5k race is in 10days and I really need to be able to do it. This is just so hard because I don't know what to do for the best. On the one hand I need to just keep pushing myself on the exercise front and hope I can work through it, but on the other I know that if I keep pushing I might have to stop exercising altogether for a while if this injury gets worse, and if I can't do the race then months of hard work will have been wasted.
I'm sat here icing it again at the moment and hoping that it's better still tomorrow and I can still go and do my last chance workout at the gym. But the pessimist in me is worried sick I'm going to miss another workout... This is really causing me to panic and feel anxious. I've exercised consistently for at least 4 days a week during the whole of my weight loss journey and the thought of not being able to exercise at all fills me with terror that as a result the weight loss might stop or even go backwards...

Monday, 21 June 2010

It's Good To Be Back

Been having a bad few days since my last post. Due to being away for the weekend I hadn't been to the gym since last Thursday, and Friday and Saturday I went totally off plan food wise to make matters even worse.
Anyway, I felt so annoyed and upset with myself yesterday morning that I gave myself a good talking to and got back on plan, and today I'm happy to say I've been to the gym for my step class and I feel SO much better now.
The weekend has opened my eyes to a few things.
The main thing I've realised is when I have my treat night on a Friday, although I really enjoy it at the time, on a Saturday I always feel so FAT, like I've put back on all the weight I've lost overnight (when I know that it's only a couple of lbs of water weight at the most). This in turn means that I don't want to wear my smaller fitted clothes the rest of the weekend, and end up pulling out my baggier things to "hide" all the weight I gained overnight lol. It's like deep down inside I feel like I don't deserve to wear my smaller clothes if I've overeaten....
I need to find a way to work through this but right now I don't know how. I've thought about stopping the treat night altogether, but to be honest I don't think that would work because it keeps me focused all week and I can ignore the cravings, knowing that I can pick a couple of things to have on a Friday. If I stopped altogether I'm sure I'd end up binging on foods I'd been craving. And it's worked for losing the weight, I've been doing this for almost 11 months and lost an average of 2lbs a week so it's not as if it's stopping me losing, the problem is in my head. I know that when I eventually get to my goal weight I'm going to have to deal with maintenance, and I think that this is an inkling of what I've got to expect, but for now I just have to find a way of dealing with this in the here and now. Any ideas?
And it's only 12 days to my first 5k race now! I'm getting more scared by the day and I really don't know why. I run 5k three times a week, and have been running up to 6k a few times as well, so it's not as if I can't do the distance. I've run outside and on the treadmill, have tried grass, concrete, hills, sun, wind (although not rain yet), so I'm fairly prepared for different conditions, but I'm just terrified for some reason. I know that I'm going to do it, there's no way I'd let myself not, but I'm really wishing I hadn't signed up for it at the moment and will just be glad when it's over. I REALLY hope though that when it comes to it I actually enjoy it and do ok.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

I Hate Being Out Of My Routine

Today hasn't been a good day. Hubby is usually at work during the week and so I'm left to my normal happy routine, but this week he has some holiday to take so has been off today and is off for the rest of the week.
Today is also supposed to be my step class, which I LOVE, but the instructor is on holiday and they couldn't get anyone to cover the class so it was cancelled.
So my day has been totally thrown into dissaray. I thought about going and doing a different workout in the gym, then instead I did plan to do JM's 30Day Shred, but I got stuck in doing chores around the house and never got to it in the end. Hubby has also been driving me mad being underfoot all day. I know he's on holiday and works hard and deserves a rest, but I've been on the go most of the day and it makes me really frustrated and want to put a rocket under him to get him to do something lol.
So all in all this evening I'm not feeling happy with myself. I'm annoyed I didn't get to do my step class and didn't even do an alternative workout. I'm annoyed hubby being home has bothered me today because I love him being home generally. I'm also annoyed my daughter is being a little madam at the moment lol.
And I can't even blame all this on PMS! lol Oh well, last chance gym workout for me in the morning. Hopefully that will wring all the tension out of me and by the time I get home hubby might have actually gotten off his butt! hehe

Sunday, 13 June 2010

THE Best Run!!!

Feeling so down yesterday really got to me. It scares me that after coming so far in this journey and feeling so much better generally I still can have such bad days, but I guess it's life and I just have to deal with them the best I can, get through them and wait for the better ones to come along.
Anyway, last night I got my running gear laid out ready with the idea of going out for a run this morning maybe, depending on the weather, as I knew if I could get through a run I'd feel better. I told hubby my plan and that I was going to have breakfast first and wait for the potty call (TMI I know lol) so I could go out and not have to worry about stomach cramps like last week lol.
So this morning, got up, got in my running gear straight away, had breakfast, waited for potty call and got myself very nervous as I always do before an outside run (why is this I wonder?). I'd played around with some routes on Map My Run last night because I wanted to try something different. From my house there is a long uphill which I've avoided so far. The last few times I've ran I've warmed up at home first. Today I decided I'd use the hill to do my warm up walk, so I walked and warmed up on the uphill, then once I got to the flat I started Bob (do you like my new name for my Garmin lol, been thinking of names for days and kept coming back to Bob from BL so he's now been christened). I knew roughly where I was going but some of it was sort of feel your way along which was a little weird. One bit was a quite steep downhill and I learnt that you really have to go slow if you don't want to fall on your face lol (I didn't, but only through luck). For the first 4k I felt amazing, Bob helped me keep my pace and heart rate steady and I KNEW that today was going to be the day I completed my first full 5k outside without stopping. After 4k I started to tire a little though and had to slow down slightly, but I was determined and when I hit the 5k point I just kept going. In the end I ran 6k without stopping, and the last little bit of that was a steep uphill which I dragged my legs up. I did another 1k after that which was also mostly uphill and ran/walked it, so altogether including my warm up walk I did about 8k. The 7k was in 54.41 including walking, the 6k run was in 46.12 and I did the 5k in 38.13!!!! So I did my first full 5k outside non-stop in under 40mins, which are my goals for the Race For Life in 20 days!!!
I'm just SO proud of myself today. I picked myself up after a bad day, dusted myself off, and went out and did the best run I've ever done! I also proved to myself that I can run/walk much further than I gave myself credit for. Having only done 5.5k non-stop on the treadmill up to now, to then go outside and do 6k including hills, and about 8k altogether just amazes me. When I've looked at other people's routes on the internet and seen them regularly doing 10k I've thought I'd never get to that point, but after today I've realised I'm much closer than I ever imagined!
Something else I noticed today which has intrigued me is that on the treadmill, for the first 10-15mins my left calf and shin ache til they warm up properly, but when I run outside they don't. Wonder how that is?
Off for my shower now and to wallow in my after run glow!

Saturday, 12 June 2010

Really Down Today

I had a great week up to last night with the healthy eating and exercise. Lost another 2.5lbs this week to take me to 99.5lbs. Only half a pound to go and I hit three milestones in one fell swoop, but will wait til that happens before I expand on it.
Others may disagree with my plan, but throughout this ten and a half month journey Friday night has been my treat night. It's not off plan because my plan incorporates Friday as my treat night. Hubby and I have whatever we want for dinner, so we may go to eat out or have a takeaway, or I may cook something a little higher cal/fat than normal, and we have a dessert or a little choc later. I've done this for ten and a half months and have lost on average 2lbs per week. It works for me because I can quiet down the cravings all week by telling them "just wait til Friday night, you can have it then". Then when it comes to Friday I just decide what it is I want most out of all the things that I've been craving. So out of maybe 20 cravings in a week, I get to indulge a couple of them on a Friday night, and it seems to do the trick.
Emotionally though I've been a mess this week. I've had severe PMS and have felt anxious, angry, down, tearful, you name it. I've felt like I wanted to cry all week but just couldn't....
This morning I had planned to get up early and go to the gym, but last night when we went to bed I never even set my alarm. Lately I've been waking up early each morning so part of me figured I'd wake up in my own time and just go then. I hadn't got my gym bag or clothes ready though... Then this morning when I woke up, I looked at the time, turned over and went straight back to sleep... I really just couldn't be bothered. I have to get up early 5 days a week to get DD ready and to school, then on a Saturday it's usually early to the gym before picking her up from grandma where she stays most Friday's, and Sunday she is up early so I hardly ever get to wake up and go back to sleep and doze for a couple of hours like I used to. Usually that doesn't bother me, it's become a habit and I just do it, but today I just couldn't....
We'd said we'd take DD swimming today so when I did get up I had breakfast and started getting our swimming gear ready. I couldn't find DD's costume and I don't know why, but I got into a total state, felt really anxious and ended up sat on the bed sobbing. I wasn't even crying for the lost costume. I was crying the tears that I'd wanted to cry all week. I was crying because I'd made a choice not to go to the gym this morning and although the lie in was great, I was angry with myself because I'd not done my workout. I was crying because even after 99.5lbs lost and ten and a half months of going to the gym on average 6 times a week, I still can't give myself a break unless I stick exactly to my plan and achieve all the goals I set myself. My perfectionism rearing it's ugly head yet again... I realised then that I was also crying because I'm scared of what's going to happen once I do reach my goal... For ten and a half months this has been my main focus and it probably will be for another six months or more, but what then? I've been morbidly obese for so long, probably about 13 years, I'm not sure what to expect from my life once I get to goal.... There are lots of things in that statement that I really can't voice right now, and don't know if I'll ever be able to, they're things that I'm scared to even think about...
But what can I do? What other choice do I have? Being here is better than being where I was, so I just have to keep going and try to be a little less hard on myself. I have to trust that I'll find a way to make sense of where the rest of my life is meant to go, I just need to take it one day at a time....
So even though I wanted to get back in my bed and cry myself to sleep, and stay there for the rest of the day, I found DD's costume, packed our bag and we went swimming. The pool was quiet so I actually attempted a bit of backstroke, which I haven't done in maybe 20 years. Wow, I was out of breath and had jelly legs and arms after that!
And even though I still want to go to bed and cry myself to sleep, instead I'm about to go make a healthy dinner for my family....

Thursday, 10 June 2010

I Had A Great Workout Today!!!

Thursday is my last chance workout before my official weigh in on a Friday am. So I always try to push myself hard and think of any extra ounce I might possibly be able to lose lol.
Today I had decided I would try to do a LONG run (for most runners it's piddly, but for me it's long lol). I've been running a regular 5k on the treadmill for a few weeks, so aimed for 5.5k today taking into account the 10% rule I keep reading about for increasing distance. I've done it once before but it was more luck than planning, and it was a few weeks ago, so in line with my mixing up my runs Thursday is going to be my long run day for a while. I set off at my steady pace with my ipod newly updated and decided I wasn't going to look at the time til I'd run 9 songs. When I'd run 4 songs I doubted I could do the full run, I felt tired and the devil on my shoulder kept saying, you've only run about 12mins probably, there's no way you can do 40-45. But I looked at my HRM and saw that my heart rate was still quite low so I knew I wasn't as tired as I thought and just pushed on. I was wearing a new pair of knee length capri's today and I looked in the mirror at my knees and calves and kept telling myself "look at those legs, look how strong they are now and what you can do with them". After the 9 songs I had run 32mins and that made me feel like I could do it. I listened to another two songs then put the timer back on the screen to watch for when I hit 5.5k. I'm slow I know, but I ran 5.5k in 42.59mins! When I was nearing the end I actually felt fab and considered keeping going to 6k, but I thought I should quit while I was on a high. I LOVE the buzz after finishing a run, I know I keep saying it, but running makes me feel so strong and like a totally different person.
I then went on to do the rest of my workout and the whole thing went great. I pushed myself hard but had fun listening to my music, and felt tired but exhilerated after.
So far I've had a great week workout wise, mixing up my runs has been just the change I needed and I'm so glad I'm feeling better about it all. I know it's only been two runs, but I really think doing different types of runs is going to help me improve as well as being more interesting. Not sure yet whether I will do another 5.5k next Thur or try 6k, what do you think?

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

First Interval Training Run & Lightbulbs

I've been feeling quite bored and frustrated at the gym this past few weeks, which worried me as I was scared that I was losing my motivation. I was scared if I lost my motivation to exercise then I'd lose my motivation to eat healthy and the weight would stop coming off, and probably start going back on.
I had a couple of lightbulb moments when I realised that I'd got so hung up on the running I started in January and training for my first 5k race on 3rd July that I'd lost my enjoyment in the gym because I was pushing myself too hard. Suddenly I was swapping a swimming session (which helps me tone and relax) for an extra running session, and was pushing myself harder and harder with each run. I ended up with lots of little niggles, a tight calf muscle, tight shin and I believe a slight hamstring injury, but I just kept pushing. My weight hit a short plateau and I panicked and just added more, doing a 20min treadmill hill walk before my step classes, anything I could think of to add more exercise.
Then because of childcare issues I couldn't do my usual gym workouts for 3 days. We went for a fun swim as a family one of those days, another I did 30Day Shred and the third we went for a family hike. I was panicking after those three days, thinking I hadn't burnt anything like the calories I usually do. But you know what, the scale suddenly started dropping again...
Then this last weekend we went away for three days so again no gym workouts. We walked a couple of times and I took a short run one day, but again nothing like the activity I'm used to. And the scale is still dropping...
I suddenly realised, for the first 6 months of this journey I was constantly changing things, adding more exercise at first, then changing the type and intensity, swapping which machines I went on etc. Then when I started running it was all I focused on, just ignored the rest of my exercise routine. I pushed myself harder and harder, doing the same thing over and over. I think I hit burnout...
The last couple of weeks having enforced changes to my exercise routine has made me see I need to change things up again. I put too much focus on the race, after all, it's only a 5k, worst case I can walk it. I started running so I'd still be able to exercise when we go away, and I've achieved that goal and that feels amazing. So why did I then put myself under so much pressure. I still want to do the race, run the whole thing and finish in under 40mins, and I know I'm going to be disappointed if that doesn't happen, but in the grand scheme of things it's one day compared with every single day I've been on this journey and all the amazing things I've achieved so far. I'd got carried away thinking after the 5k I'd sign up for a 10k, then a half-marathon, then a full, one each year meaning a marathon on my 40th, no problem! Lol, big problem, I had dreamt up such lofty goals so quickly I forgot the whole reason I'd started!
I have to get back my enjoyment of this journey because if I don't I know exactly where I'll end up, back sat on the couch eating my feelings. I reminded myself of why I'm doing all this and my main reasons for running, as I said before so that I can still exercise while we're away, but mostly it's turned out because when I run it makes me feel like I have more freedom and strength than I ever have in my life...
So today I did my first interval workout on the treadmill, 400m at my steady pace followed by 400m at half a kph faster, and repeated this 5 times. I LOVED it!!! It was so good to do something different and the time seemed to fly by. I felt weird to be getting off the treadmill after 30mins instead of the usual 40mins, but weirdly I actually enjoyed the rest of my workout more afterwards as well.
On Thursday I'm going to try running 5.5k at my steady pace, no speed work, no inclines, just a steady long run, and see how that goes.
And as for my 5k race, I'm a stubborn competitive person so I know that I'm going to do everything in my power to run the whole thing and finish in under 40mins still, and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. But for now I'm just going to go back to running for what it does for me. Oh, and on Friday I'm going back to my length swimming session...

Sunday, 6 June 2010

I Can Do It! And Sports Bra Update

After Friday's post I'm really pleased to say I got up yesterday morning, picked myself up, dusted myself off, and got straight back on plan.
I went out for a 5k run early in the morning before it started getting too hot, and if it hadn't been for the stomach cramps which meant I had to walk for a few mins at the 4.3k point I'd have been able to run the whole way. Was really annoyed at myself at the time, but have to remember that I'd eaten complete junk the day before, and I usually have breakfast and give myself an hour for my bodily functions to sort themselves out before I run, so I suppose I should have expected it. I also set off running too fast which I think may not have helped. I kept looking at my Garmin and thinking I should slow down, but for some reason I couldn't seem to do it. Anyway, it was nice to run somewhere different and it was really flat where we were staying which was a nice change from the hills here. Compared to my last run outside I knocked 9secs off my 5k time which isn't much, but it all counts when you're a new runner lol.
I ate totally on plan all day and we then went for a 9k walk as a family in the evening once it had cooled down a little again, so hopefully it will have repaired a little of the damage.
I've been totally on plan again today although not managed to get any exercise in with us coming back from our few days away and unpacking etc. I'm really hungry today so hoping all the crap from Friday is more or less out of my system now.
And after my post about my search for new sports bras, when we were out on Friday we visited an outlet mall and I struck gold! I found a shop with the Shock Absorber Bra range in stock. They didn't have the new Run bra, but I tried on the next one down in the range, the Ball one I think it is, and it felt good, comfortable but supportive. I ended up getting two for less than the price of one Enell! I tried one of them out on my run yesterday and apart from having to adjust one shoulder strap as I ran I had no problems and it felt great to have the back so open compared to my Enell, I didn't get half as soggy lol. I'm so happy I now have two bras to alternate between, and I'll probably still keep wearing my Enell for my step classes where I don't need as much support now it's getting big.
I'm trying to decide whether I will go on the scales in the morning. Lately I've got used to weighing daily, but after three days of being away I'm nervous of seeing the number. I'm not sure if it will be bad or ok. Friday is the day I class as my official weigh in day, so I could wait til then and hopefully see a lower number by then, but I don't know if I can wait that long. At least if I weigh daily I know what I'm up against, but unfortunately it does affect my mood for the day, and aren't Monday's bad enough?

Friday, 4 June 2010

Bad Day

Today has been a very bad day eating wise. Whilst I wouldn't say it was actually a binge I've eaten more today in one day than in a LONG time. I started out with a healthy breakfast but it was downhill all the way after that and now I'm sat here feeling sick and bloated and so annoyed with myself.
The only reason I have is that we're away on holiday for a couple of days and this voice was saying 'you're on holiday, enjoy yourself'. Have seen tonight though yet again that the enjoyment is very short lived and the guilt after just isn't worth it. I really didn't need to go so overboard, I lost total control for approx 10hrs...
So I've ready told hubby that tomorrow I'm back on plan completely, and I've learned more lessons today to help me in the rest of my journey. There's no point beating myself up, I just have to put it behind me and focus my attention an repairing the damage. But I still feel like crying...

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Sports Bras

Now I suppose I'm lucky in that I'm a well endowed girl, but finding a sports bra that fits well and does the job to stop the girls going off and doing their own thing is a nightmare!
In January I finally tried the Enell bra which is amazing. At first I actually felt like it must be a bit too tight because I had trouble breathing in it, but soon got used to it and it does the job perfectly. It's not cheap though...
So over 4 months down the line I've worn it almost everyday, it's been washed dozens of times and is still in fab condition, but as the weight has come off it's been providing less and less support. It's no longer constricting like it was and when I run I'm getting a more definite bounce again with each week. I've looked today at getting another in the next size down, I've actually thought I really could do to get two so I'm not frantically washing and drying all the time, but the cost is an issue.
Then I got to thinking, the Enell bra is very full coverage, from the back of your neck down to your ribcage, and it gets hot during a hard workout. So I've looked at the new Shock Absorber Run bra which is supposed to be fab. I've heard good things, but that it's a devil to get on til you're used to it. It's cheaper than the Enell and has an open back so I thought it might be much cooler.
I just don't know what to do. There is nowhere near me where I can go to a shop and try loads on and see what actually fits and does the job. And with losing so much weight I really have no idea of my sizing anymore. Hubby has told me to order several from the website I got my Enell from as they do free returns, but I just don't know. Should I stick with my trusty Enell and just go down a size, maybe get two of the next size down? Hubby always says I can never make a decision, and this is just more proof lol.