Monday, 31 May 2010

I Ache Tonight!

Another good weigh in this morning, down a further 0.5lbs so hoping that the stall is over.
I ached a little this morning from doing the 30 Day Shred yesterday, mostly my upper arms and shoulders, but it wasn't too bad.
Then we went geocaching for a few hours up over the moors a short drive away. We did 6k in 2hrs 50mins. We set off up the first hill and near the top hubby realised we'd forgotten the "treasures" to put in the caches, so for the first time ever I volunteered to go back to the car to get them! Hubby has ALWAYS had to go back to the car or house or wherever in the past because I avoided walking as much as possible. I was so proud of myself for doing this, I've come a long way in 10 months....
I was enjoying it a lot until we ended up off the track near the end and had to make a really steep climb back to the track. That killed my legs and by the time we got to the top they were like jelly. I soon recovered though and we enjoyed a lovely picnic when we got back to the car.
Tonight though the aching has set it much more. My legs and arms are not happy bunnies at all, just hoping a good sleep will do the trick as I have a gym workout planned for early in the morning, so I can be back to takeover childcare before hubby goes to work. Not sure what treadmill work to do tomorrow. My last treadmill run was a faster run so I should do a long slow one really, but time is of the essence tomorrow so will have to see.

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Feeling Better Today

The scale was down 0.5lb this morning which made me SO happy. I was so sick of seeing the same number or higher for the last 9 days. It has made me realise yet again how much the scale affects my mood for the day, and I really don't like that, but I don't know how to change it. For now I'm just happy that my mood is better today and I'm feeling more positive.
Today as well I can't stop going to the toilet! I feel like I've been about a dozen times so far today and it's only late afternoon. I'm wondering if I've actually been retaining water for the last week or so, don't know for sure, but I hope it's that and that I can expect the scale to start dropping again.
I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, Day 1 Level 1 today and WOW, I thought I was quite fit now lol. I managed to do most of it, but the pair of my workout pants I wore are obviously too big now as they kept working their way down to my bum whenever I did jumping jacks or similar and I spent most of the time pulling them back up again! I thought a half hour workout wouldn't do much for me, but afterwards my legs and arms felt like jelly and they still feel a little wobbly now, so I'm preparing myself to ache tomorrow. I'm not planning on doing the dvd everyday like you're supposed to, mainly because I go to the gym most days, but I've been getting really bored with my workouts this past couple of weeks so figured if I can add in a couple of 30 Day Shred workouts each week, maybe as a swap for something else, I might feel a bit more excited about my routine and see some more results. Main thing is I enjoyed the workout, it definitely got me sweating and I can feel that I worked hard, so here's hoping.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Feeling Out Of Control

I've felt so anxious and panicky this last week or so, like I've lost control of everything and all the hard work of the last 10 months is blowing up in my face.
I read on another blog recently that usually when you start to feel out of control with healthy eating or exercising it's because other things in your life are out of control. For me right now that's so true. Lots of things are stressing me out and I don't have control over the outcomes for most of them, and I HATE that.
I've found it a real struggle to make myself go to the gym each day, although I've had a good workout when I've got there. The number on the scale is just frustrating me so much this week.
I know realistically that the 4lb loss last week was false as I'd given blood the day before weigh in. Then we went away for the weekend and I ate off plan for 2 full days, as well as missing the gym. But I've exercised everyday since, hard workouts, and I'm 2lb up... I had got used to daily weighing and was less obsessed by it, but this week it's driving me mad seeing the same numbers on the scale every morning, makes me want to scream! I've thought about trying to stay off it again til Friday but I don't know if I can handle that either.
The realisation the other day that I was bored with my workouts scared me as well. I'm terrified that I'm losing my motivation to exercise. I had a bit of a lightbulb moment when I thought about my running. I realised I really do prefer to exercise with other people, or at least where other people are who I can have a quick chat with, like in the gym or my step class. When I go for a run on my own outside although I feel great afterwards, I miss the company of others. When I completed the C25K programme in March I really thought there was no stopping me with my running, that I'd do the Race For Life this year, a 10k next, half marathon the year after and then a marathon when I'm 40. Now I'm thinking this isn't going to happen... I started running so I'd have a way to exercise still when we're away, but think I got carried away. Running is something I've never done, even at school I hated it, so when I found out I could do it and built up to being able to run 45mins on the treadmill non-stop I felt invincible, so strong and like I could do anything I put my mind to. Running still makes me feel like that, when I get an endorphin rush I feel like I'm flying and could run forever, but most of the time it's still SO hard.
Maybe I'm just impatient for progress like I am with everything else. I'm trying to run too fast and too far too soon... That makes sense lol
Today we were supposed to be going for a long walk, DH, DD and I, and I figured it would be a good way for some gentle exercise, but when we got up this morning it was pouring down so that plan went out the window. DH asked if I wanted to go to the gym instead and I really didn't.... What I wanted to do was go back to bed and have a good cry, you know, woe is me and all that. The scale isn't going down and I'm going to sulk and stamp my feet.....
Anyway, DD has been asking to go swimming and we haven't taken her for ages, so found a session at a pool nearby and off we went. I haven't been swimming for a few weeks because I swapped my Friday swim for a run outside to help my training for the RFL, and I'd forgotten how it makes me feel. I love feeling my body working in the water and like to think of it toning my body with each stroke. I really need to start going swimming again, even if it's only once a month...
DD and DH always go on the water slide but I've always avoided it like the plague. Today was different, one thing getting so much fitter and losing so much weight has done is make me want to push myself to try new things, even things that terrify me. Last week was giving blood for the first time, today I suddenly decided I was going on that slide. When I told DD she was so excited. I followed her up the steps and felt sick to my stomach. My legs were shaking and I didn't think I'd be able to go through with it. I haven't been on water slides since I was a teenager lol! But the new strong me said there was no way I was leaving today without going on that slide. I watched DD go down before me and then it was my turn. The first bit, I was so scared the water was going to go in my mouth and up my nose and I wouldn't be able to breathe, but once I got going I realised I was going to be okay and started to enjoy it! I ended up going on a second time and loved it then! So another NSV for me, going on a water slide! I think I really need to focus on NSV's at the moment until the scale stops playing games with my head.
Then on the way home we went to get a few bits from the shops and I saw a skirt in one of the charity shops that I liked. Size 16, tried it on and it fit perfect and was really flattering. Told DH I'd no idea when I'd wear it though, he asked how much it was, £3, and he said oh well, better put it back, it's far too expensive lol. Can you tell he loves to be sarcastic? Another thing I have done hardly for years is wear skirts, always hid my legs in trousers, and only wore skirts for special occasions lol. Well I bought that skirt and I'm going to wear it one day next week, just because I can. Another NSV...