Been having a bad few days since my last post. Due to being away for the weekend I hadn't been to the gym since last Thursday, and Friday and Saturday I went totally off plan food wise to make matters even worse.
Anyway, I felt so annoyed and upset with myself yesterday morning that I gave myself a good talking to and got back on plan, and today I'm happy to say I've been to the gym for my step class and I feel SO much better now.
The weekend has opened my eyes to a few things.
The main thing I've realised is when I have my treat night on a Friday, although I really enjoy it at the time, on a Saturday I always feel so FAT, like I've put back on all the weight I've lost overnight (when I know that it's only a couple of lbs of water weight at the most). This in turn means that I don't want to wear my smaller fitted clothes the rest of the weekend, and end up pulling out my baggier things to "hide" all the weight I gained overnight lol. It's like deep down inside I feel like I don't deserve to wear my smaller clothes if I've overeaten....
I need to find a way to work through this but right now I don't know how. I've thought about stopping the treat night altogether, but to be honest I don't think that would work because it keeps me focused all week and I can ignore the cravings, knowing that I can pick a couple of things to have on a Friday. If I stopped altogether I'm sure I'd end up binging on foods I'd been craving. And it's worked for losing the weight, I've been doing this for almost 11 months and lost an average of 2lbs a week so it's not as if it's stopping me losing, the problem is in my head. I know that when I eventually get to my goal weight I'm going to have to deal with maintenance, and I think that this is an inkling of what I've got to expect, but for now I just have to find a way of dealing with this in the here and now. Any ideas?
And it's only 12 days to my first 5k race now! I'm getting more scared by the day and I really don't know why. I run 5k three times a week, and have been running up to 6k a few times as well, so it's not as if I can't do the distance. I've run outside and on the treadmill, have tried grass, concrete, hills, sun, wind (although not rain yet), so I'm fairly prepared for different conditions, but I'm just terrified for some reason. I know that I'm going to do it, there's no way I'd let myself not, but I'm really wishing I hadn't signed up for it at the moment and will just be glad when it's over. I REALLY hope though that when it comes to it I actually enjoy it and do ok.