Back From Holiday

We got back from our week away on Friday and my scale really did not like me.... Just goes to show that as soon as I stop exercising and start eating like the world is going to end tomorrow that the weight quickly comes back on... Seriously though, I only ran once in 8 days, I had 2 on plan days in those 8, 1 fairly on plan, and the rest were a complete bust, with 2 of those ending with me feeling sick I'd eaten that much, so I knew to expect a big gain...
I had spent the first 3 days of the holiday fighting with myself over whether I should be on plan and miserable because hubby and DD were having all the usual holiday foods, icecream, fish & chips, candyfloss, cream teas etc, or whether I should say that I'm on holiday, I'm SO different to how I was this time last year, and a week is not going to wreck the last year's hard work. Obviously the part of me who wanted to join in with the eating won, and most of the time while we were away I was content with that decision. I enjoyed having some foods I haven't eaten in SO long, and one thing I noticed was that I wasn't ashamed to be eating them in public like I used to be. It was just so nice to actually feel normal/average compared to other people I saw, I was happy with how I looked and was able to do things I wouldn't have dreamt of a year ago, like walking a mile and a half from the car to a castle to look around and then back again, and that was only a couple of hours out of a day, not a full day out sightseeing which we did some days. A year ago I expended as little energy as possible because it was just too hard and too painful....
Anyway, I got back on plan yesterday and went to the gym for a monster workout, and although it was really hard I managed it and feel much better today, plus the scale is being a little friendlier lol. Been to the gym again this morning as well. Was really tired when I woke up and considered not going, but I can't go tomorrow so forced myself. The air con in the gym was broken though so the heat and tiredness combined didn't make for a great workout. I managed an hour and am glad I went, but it definitely wasn't as good a workout as normal.
So what have I learnt in the past week or so? Staying on plan in not the be all and end all in my life anymore. I've made the most massive changes in my life this last 12 months and that shows in my body and mind. I have been SO focused on getting to goal as quickly as possible, even up to this holiday, but a week away has made me see things differently. I've realised that I've now reached the point where I'm actually fairly happy with how I look. I know I still have a way to go to goal and undressed there is still big room for improvement lol, but overall it's so huge an achievement for me to feel NORMAL. I keep looking at photos from our holiday and still find it hard to believe that that person who looks an average size, young and happy, is me... So whilst I'm now back on plan and determined to hit a new low on the scale soon, I've learnt that I can live my life like a normal person, enjoy holidays, celebrations etc, and I WILL still reach my goal. It may not be by the exact date I originally planned, but it will happen and I will not give up until it does. I think I'm finally learning what normal is...