Got back from another week's holiday in our caravan today and am really disgusted with myself.
Hopped on the scales (or rather lumbered today) and in 8 days totally off plan the scale has shot up 7.5lbs!!! I know most of it will be water weight and should come off quickly but still, I could cry... The first few days weren't too bad, but the holiday wasn't what I had hoped for and so I'm ashamed to say I reverted to my old behaviour of eating to comfort myself, and really went for it. I also haven't exercised at all while we were away. I took my running gear but used the excuse that it was hilly where we were to avoid even trying....
I have a lot of issues right now which are causing me much upset, worry and confusion. I've been trying to decide whether I should put the details in my blog as I really feel like getting it out and down it writing might help at least release a bit of the pressure that seems to be building up inside me, but on the other hand I'm terribly scared of being judged by anyone who does read it, or that someone in my family or a friend may read it, so for now I'm having to carry on bottling it up inside me.
Anyway, I know what I need to do in my immediate future to make myself feel better, and that is to get back on plan with my eating, get back into my exercise routine, get the weight gain back off as quickly as possible, and then work on seeing a new low on the scale. So tomorrow I've made plans to get up bright and early and get to the gym for a good workout, and come hell or high water I am going to have an on plan day with my eating, drink loads of water and get back into my usual daily routine at home.
I've also requested to join in a 60day exercise challenge starting on 1st September on one of the blogs I read and will post more details about that if I'm accepted.
So, although right now I'm disgusted with myself and my actions over the last week, I'm happy to be home and that I should be able to get back into my healthy routine over the next few days, and hopefully will feel much better by this time next week.