Since my last post I'm feeling different. I guess because the scared feeling I had has gone. Although the pms is still there and the cravings have been bad for the last few days I've felt in total control of my food and exercise choices and it feels great.
My plan going into the christmas break was to enjoy the foods I knew I would be having, but to only have a small portion of each and to not go back for seconds. So far I've done that and even better, some of the things I had planned to have I didn't end up having at all, although I'll maybe have some of them at some point over the break.
I tried to remember to savour every bite although I did find that hard, but when I considered going back for more of something I just told myself no, and that one portion was enough, and it worked.
Another problem I usually have is that as soon as my routine changes I forget to drink my water. Silly I know, but go figure. So I vowed to try to keep the water intake up and so far I'm not doing too bad. Not as high as normal, but still loads better.
I was supposed to be going to the gym this morning, but hubby was on call til 8am this morning and ended up working 14hrs overnight, so didn't actually get to sleep til 8am. This morning I thought that that was my workout out the window, but when hubby got up at lunchtime he told me if I wanted to go to the gym to go and he'd just watch and film and cuddle on the sofa with Erin. As TOM is due anyday and I know that the first day I always really struggle with horrendous cramps and tiredness I decided that I would go today in case tomorrow is the day, and then I don't have to feel guilty if I really don't feel up to going. So off I took myself to the gym after lunch, did a 5-6min warm up, then ran for an hour on the treadmill at a steady pace, before doing some arm and ab exercises. And now I'm home and tidied and feel great, tired, but happy tired, and all is right with the world lol.
I was 1lb up on the scale this morning from Christmas Eve, but I'm actually fine with that. It could be food, it would be water, it could be TOM, but seriously, it could be a LOT worse, and has been in so many years past when I've just let myself loose on the food and dealt with the consequences in the New Year. Last year I did well, but this year it feels different. Although I still want to lose a few more pounds before I call it goal, this year it feels like I'm learning what maintenance is going to be like. Realising that I can never go back to the way I used to eat or the lack of exercise. But if I am just mindful of what and how much food I put in my mouth and what I do with my body then I can still have foods I like, AND keep the body I'm loving more with each day...