Tuesday, 17 May 2011

I'm Back

Well, I didn't really go anywhere, just not posted for ages.
I sort of felt like I've been talking to myself mostly the whole time I've had this blog, and kept thinking why am I posting if no-one is interested. Then when I got to goal I sort of felt like I didn't have anything to write about in maintenance.
BUT, I've learnt since hitting goal in January that maintenance is just another part of the journey, and if I'm going to be successful at keeping the weight off long term I still have a LOT of work to do and demons to deal with.
So I'm back and even though some posts may be very short, some long, the plan is to start posting regularly about how I'm dealing with maintenance and overcoming my binge eating disorder... There, I said it, I have binge eating disorder.... I've had it since some traumatic events in my teens and since then have dealt with my depression and anxiety by binge eating to numb the pain. While losing over 140lbs I thought I'd got it completely under control, like I was cured and would never binge again. But this last few months the binge monster is back with a vengeance. I'm managing to maintain my weight because the binges are counteracted by eating healthy and exercising a lot at other times, but I know I can't go on like this because they leave me so sad and disgusted with myself afterwards.
So a week last Monday I began with Day 1 of no binging and so far we're good to go. Onto Day 9 today and although the events of the last few weeks could quite easily have sent me into a complete tailspin (we've had lots of unexpected expenses, money we don't have, we had to put our cat to sleep last Wed and DD and I are grieving terribly, and then we were in a car accident on Saturday which although not our fault is causing lots of stress arranging hire cars and repairs etc), I've used them as a way to challenge myself and prove to myself I can deal with high stress and anxiety without binging, I CAN get through it.


  1. I have often thought why keep a blog? But even if I am only talking to myself it is just the act of being accountable that helps. Blogland is here to support you. Sorry to hear it was a tough week,
    Post .... It does help :)

  2. Lisa I think we've all gone through a stage asking ourselves is it really worth our while to maintian our blogs. Who reads it? Does anyone read it?

    I can assure you I've been checking back for quite some time now to see if you've updated and I was about to post something your FB account just now if I hadn't just read this! Good for you for keeping this up, even if you don't have a large audience (though it is nice) use this as a place to excise your demons.

    I look forward to many more posts and you are learning just like I have that maintenance is just as hard!!! At times even harder at times (like right now for me).

    I'm sorry you had to put your cat down, I just went through this in March and it sent me for quite a tail spin that I didn't expect, probably what started leading me towards eating on 8lbs.

    Keep workign hard Lisa but don't drive yourself crazy doing it!

  3. Hi Lisa, I am on the chicks in control board (mamato2boys) and just wanted to let you know that I am reading your blog! No one has ever commented on my blog-at all, and I wonder the same thing, why am I even writing this if no one is reading it, LOL? But, I find that it doesn't matter, and in the end it helps me, so I keep on.
    But, I am reading yours and am enjoying it, so please keep posting! :)
    I hate to hear of the struggles you guys in maintenance have to go through. I hope it will get easier for you. Just remember that you have to be a STRONG person to lose all the weight that you did!
    -Nicole (mamato2boys from 3FC)