Well, I didn't really go anywhere, just not posted for ages.
I sort of felt like I've been talking to myself mostly the whole time I've had this blog, and kept thinking why am I posting if no-one is interested. Then when I got to goal I sort of felt like I didn't have anything to write about in maintenance.
BUT, I've learnt since hitting goal in January that maintenance is just another part of the journey, and if I'm going to be successful at keeping the weight off long term I still have a LOT of work to do and demons to deal with.
So I'm back and even though some posts may be very short, some long, the plan is to start posting regularly about how I'm dealing with maintenance and overcoming my binge eating disorder... There, I said it, I have binge eating disorder.... I've had it since some traumatic events in my teens and since then have dealt with my depression and anxiety by binge eating to numb the pain. While losing over 140lbs I thought I'd got it completely under control, like I was cured and would never binge again. But this last few months the binge monster is back with a vengeance. I'm managing to maintain my weight because the binges are counteracted by eating healthy and exercising a lot at other times, but I know I can't go on like this because they leave me so sad and disgusted with myself afterwards.
So a week last Monday I began with Day 1 of no binging and so far we're good to go. Onto Day 9 today and although the events of the last few weeks could quite easily have sent me into a complete tailspin (we've had lots of unexpected expenses, money we don't have, we had to put our cat to sleep last Wed and DD and I are grieving terribly, and then we were in a car accident on Saturday which although not our fault is causing lots of stress arranging hire cars and repairs etc), I've used them as a way to challenge myself and prove to myself I can deal with high stress and anxiety without binging, I CAN get through it.