It's now 7.30pm on Sunday evening and we're back from my Mum's Birthday meal, and I made it through!!!
I offered to drive as I said I would, so only drank Diet Coke. The first little while we were there I felt so anxious, looking at the huge selection of food that was available on the buffet, I could feel myself getting really jittery and could see in my mind my finger ready to flick that switch to binge mode. But I took a deep breath and in my head told myself to relax and that I could get through it.
I checked out everything that was available, decided on the items I really wanted, the items I could live without, and those that didn't appeal at all, and then chose SMALL portions of only the items I really wanted. I made sure to try and eat slowly and enjoy each mouthful, and I even left some of my main course on my plate which is unknown for me, just because I challenged myself to do it! I felt no guilt for thoroughly enjoying my dessert because I had planned for it all week and not given into the sweet cravings other days because I knew I'd be able to satisfy them today.
Now I'm sat here, full but not stuffed, and certain that I won't be eating anything else tonight. If I was weighing daily the scale would more than likely be up tomorrow, but I had a thoroughly enjoyable meal and I am just so ecstatic to be able to say that I met all the challenges I set myself this weekend and most importantly I DIDN'T BINGE!!!
I'm wondering if this is the key to maintenance for me, at least in part, by making a plan and setting myself goals for dealing with each day. I know the binging runs a lot deeper, but I'm going to give it a try, taking it one day at a time for now. DD is on school half term holidays this next week so it's going to be challenging having her home all the time and my usual exercise routine being messed up, but I'm going to do the best that I can. So for Monday I'm challenging myself to stay totally on plan with no giving into any sweet cravings that may hit, and to make it to one out of two of my usual Monday classes at the gym whilst DD is attending playscheme for a couple of hours.